Deliverance from Suicidal Thoughts, Depression and Pornography: Testimonies (Lemia's Story Part 2)

 

Hey Readers,

Welcome to part 2 of Lemia's powerful testimony. If you haven't read part 1 yet, I strongly encourage you to read it first. Click here and you will be directed to part 1. Without further ado, let's get into Lemia's testimony.

Lemia's Testimony Part 2

"Although those suicidal thoughts went away, I would still fall into depression at least 2-3 times every year and I could never understand why because I thought that the depression would leave alongside my suicidal thoughts. In Summer 2018 I knew it was going to be ugly because I recently lost a loved one and everything around me just felt like it was crashing but instead it was one of the best summers. Out of the blue, a man came into my life and changed everything. I didn’t know it at the time but he distracted me from my darkness. We would always tell each other how this even happened because we had absolutely no mutual friends at that time nor did we live in the same state but the connection we had was way deeper than life itself. I would always tell my friends that “he has this light that I cannot explain but there’s just something different,” I didn’t know what it was, but it felt good. Now throughout that new journey, I have been trying to find ways to connect back to God but because of my past and the way I felt about myself, I felt guilty and simply felt like I wasn’t worthy enough for His love. With the man that I met because he was a man of God, unconsciously he was leading me closer to God and in a way, he was opening my eyes to where I could actually see myself through him. So even though I still felt guilty I just felt this urge that I still need to try and seek God.

In January 2020, after I took the step and made a hard decision and decided to quit college ball. Because I’ve played ball year-round since I was a child, it then hit me that I was actually lost because I never really had the time to really sit down and think about my life. It didn’t take long for me to fall into depression but it was different this time, although I locked myself in my room and closed my friends, roommates, and old teammates out. In that room, I was fighting myself out of depression and took the initiative to place God in the middle and things started to feel better making me want to seek him even more. After using God to get out of my depression I got distracted with life forgetting about Him until I ended up having corona during the pandemic and after I got cleared I was doing more self-evaluations and made the initiative to really seek God at a deeper consistent level. That wasn’t easy at all, I had to really exercise my mind so that I could rebuild again. During that time I asked God what my purpose was in life and he told me that I will become a motivational speaker and that will prepare me because one day I will be ministering and that took me off guard because that wasn’t in my agenda. I remember telling myself there is no way I can be a minister because I spent most of my life dismissing and not liking God because I thought he abandoned me, there is no way my Father expects my shy and quiet self to speak His word to His people (lol plus I barely read the Bible). So, I then just brushed it off thinking that maybe I was just making up things in my mind.

Now as I was starting my new journey taking the initiative to seek God on a deeper and consistent level, I felt this desire that I needed to connect with Him on a spiritual level. I didn’t know how to get on that spiritual level other than to speak in tongues, so I planned that sometime next year I will be able to speak in tongues. I wrote it down and stuck it on my mirror and started to educate myself on what speaking in tongues consist of. But throughout that process, I shy away from it just because I then started my business, forex, which gave me more wisdom and acknowledgment of my self-worth with the amazing people that I’ve met, installing more character in me, it then gave me the courage to start my page on Instagram that has been placed in my heart for months @stridinggracefully. This page showed off a different version of myself and because I was able to be vulnerable publicly it set me free and opened up my soul, I felt at peace. About 3 weeks later, unexpectedly, I was given the gift of speaking in tongues my heart was filled with so many emotions. With me breaking that barrier into the spiritual world I was instantly going through spiritual warfares with my enemy. But I have been blessed, delivered, and words are not even enough to thank my Father..." 

I will be sharing the last part (part 3) of Lemia's testimony on Friday evening. Stay tuned and next week I will be sharing a new testimony. If you'd like to share your testimony to me, please email me at Ngongang94@gmail.com. I can always keep you anonymous if you'd prefer that route.

Revelations 12:11 -- "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." 

Always keeping it real
Titiana Ngongang
Life, Faith &Love