Episode 3, Part 1: "What I wish I knew Before I Got Married"
Hey Readers,
Welcome back to Life, Faith &Love! This week I got the opportunity to interview a lovely woman named Simi. She has been married to her husband for 5 years now, (August will make it 6 years actually) and they have two little girls together. Simi spent majority of her life in the USA, but her husband majority of his in Nigeria. Although Simi had a lot of traditional Nigerian views, she still had more modern views than her husband and they had to figure out a way to meet half way.
This is Simi's Story:
"Before I got married, I was excited about having kids. I told my husband when we were dating, that as soon as we get married, I want kids right away. He's a bit more practical than I am and encouraged us to be financially ready first, but it all worked out. We've been married for 5 years now and with two little girls. I love being a mom, especially at a younger age, having them at an age I can keep up with them has been good. I thought I was super prepared, but as soon as I had them I realized I wasn't prepared. It's been a learning process.
My husband and I are both Nigerian, but from two different tribes. He's Igbo and I'm Yoruba. He spent most of his life in Nigeria and I spent most of mine in the USA. We also didn't date very long before we got married. I was nervous for how things would work with these differences. I definitely had a lot of traditional Nigerian views, but I also had more modern views than my husband. There was a lot of budding heads in the beginning. We spent a lot of the first couple years in our marriage "dating each other". We didn't know how we were going to react to certain situations until it happened. We had to do a lot of communicating, compromise and give and take. For example we had different views of private vs public school for our kids. Private schools are EXPENSIVE! Not necessary for me. In Nigeria private school is a bigger deal. We had to communicate and find a middle ground.
Love language is a big thing that has also helped us understand our differences. Knowing how we each like to give and receive love was important. It helped us get over those differences/disagreements we would have faster.
If you are single right now, I encourage you to take time to learn about yourself. Learn how to communicate effectively. Know your triggers, learn what makes you angry and what makes you sad. Once you know those things, you can then effectively communicate to your partner."
I asked Simi what 3 tools have helped her succeed to far in her marriage... she plans to share more in the Part 2 of her episode. Stay tuned for that. If you are more of a watcher/tv person. Make sure to check out the Yotube video to this interview!
As always thanks for taking time to read this week blog. If you haven't subscribed to my blog newsletter or my youtube channel, please do! It's FREE (:
Always keeping it real,
Titana Ngongang
Life, Faith &Love
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