"No Man is An Island"

       

           "No man is an island, we can be found. No man is an island let your guard down. You don't have to fight me, I am for you. We're not meant to live this life alone." From the time we exit the wombs of our mothers and enter planet earth we are dependent on people to sustain our lives. Babies are born with a need to be nurtured, cared for, and protected. People tend to forget, but even as adults we still need nurturing, caring, and protection from those around us. A study was done on adolescents that were abandoned by one or both parents at a young age. Studies showed that these children grew up with more insecurities, struggled with depression, and were more afraid to let people into their lives compared to those not abandoned. We need people/family/love to make it through this thing called life. No man is an island.

           We will all encounter a heartbreak, disappointment or a back-stab at some point in life. As human beings we are perfectly flawed creatures and we're prone to make mistakes. Many of us have been the victims of the mistakes of others. Mistakes that have inflicted heartbreak, pain, and disappointment. One thing I've quickly learned in life is that we will never be able to control the actions nor decisions of others. There is nothing you could have done to stop your friend from betraying you, stop your spouse from not following through with plans or stop the painful breakup from a significant other. We can not and will never be able to control the choices others make. The only thing we have control over is our actions and decisions. I pose one question for you, when someone hurts you, how do you react to the pain?

           I'll ask the question again, when someone HURTS you, how do YOU respond to the pain? Everyone responds to hurt differently. Some respond to pain by directing it to others, some bundle it up, some turn to addictive substances, and others use therapeutic approaches such as music, writing or faith to release their pain. There is one response to hurt that concerns me for the welfare of the human race. For some, once they are hurt, they shut off the world, think everyone is out to get them and become afraid to let people into their lives again. This response to pain worries me because no man is an island.

          I once had a friend, that betrayed my trust. To help with the flow of the story, I created a made up name, Rachel, to anonymously identify my friend. I had confided in Rachel about a young man I was dating. I told her about the ups and downs in my relationship and sought advice from her about how to handle the relationship. She new all my fears and worries about this relationship. A few months later I found out that Rachel had gone behind my back and shown interest to this young man. She kept this a secret from me. It was the young man that informed me of the intentions of Rachel. After many years of friendship with Rachel I was hurt from her actions/decision.I felt backstabbed and betrayed. But at that point I had a decision to make. I was either going to bundle up all the pain, direct it to others, or never let another friend into my life again.

       Before I made a decision, I took some time to myself to evaluate my life. I analyzed all the fruitful friendships I had in my life vs. the non-fruitful relationships. I realized that I had experienced too much love to bundle up and shut off the world. I made the decision to forgive, but proceed life without Rachel.

       If you have been the victim of emotional or physical assault, I encourage you to let it go. Forgive the person, but don't forget the lessons learned from the incident. You deserve to be loved again, encouraged again, and nurtured again. At times when we have been hurt, subconsciously, we develop a fear to let people into our lives again. If we are not careful, we can mentally get to a place where we are suspicious of the motives of everyone that tries to get to know us.  Not everyone is out to get you in life. There are people rooting for you on the sidelines. I encourage you to take the risk again and love. Don't allow fear and hurt to hold you back from amazing relationships that can foster in life.


                                            "No Man Is An Island" by Tenth Avenue North

   


            My theme for this specific blog post comes from the song "No Man Is An Island" by Tenth Avenue North. My celebrity focus on this specific blog is Tenth Avenue North. Tenth Avenue North is a contemporary Christian band that began in West Palm Beach, Florida. The band members met at Palm Beach Atlantic College. Members in the band include: Mike Doheney on vocals and acoustic guitar, Jeff Owen on electric guitar and backup vocals, Ruben Juarez lll on bass guitar and backup vocals, Jason Jamison on drums, and Bredon Shirley on keyboard.
         
          The band was interviewed about the story behind the song "No Man Is An Island." Lead vocalist Mike Donehey shared in a press release"So many of us live in isolation and we really don't have to." The song is based from a famous poem by John Donne. Donehey continues, "This song is about how we are not meant to do life alone. So often we go through life and struggles, trials, and difficult times, or even great times, and we try to do it by ourselves. That's not how we were created. We were created in God's image, for community.This song is a plea for community. There's a really strong line in the song: 'I am for you.' So often people will push back and fight you and don't want you to get too close, know them too well and be part of their lives. What we sometimes don't understand is that we have to be for each other. We don't want to be part of a community that points fingers at people, judging people, but one where we are for each other and want each other to win. As a body and community we should always want the people we meet to win. We need to tell each other that 'I am for you, and I want you to come out of this on top. I am not against you.' That's the plea of this song."


            As strong as we may think we are, we can not go through life alone. Allow yourself to heal and start letting people back into your life again.

Much Love,
Titiana Ngongang
Life, Faith &Love™


Resources:
Davis, Kevin. "#570 - "No Man Is An Island" by Tenth Avenue North." New Release Today, Christian Music, New Christian Music. NRT, 2016. Web. 24 June 2016. <http://www.newreleasetoday.com/article.php?article_id=1437>.
GoogleImages
West, Tenth Avenue. "About." Tenth Avenue North. Tenth Avenue North, n.d. Web. 24 June 2016. <http://www.tenthavenuenorth.com/about/>.
Wikimedia. "Tenth Avenue North." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 23 June 2016. Web. 24 June 2016. <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenth_Avenue_North>.
TenthavenuenorthVEVO. "Tenth Avenue North - No Man Is an Island (Official Music Video)." YouTube. YouTube, 26 Aug. 2014. Web. 24 June 2016. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlw3jG2pE8w>.