Thanksgiving BLUES? What to do when you're NOT feeling Thankful

Thanksgiving is a season centered around being grateful. Families and friends gather together to dine and give thanks to this thing called life. But what do you do when you are not feeling thankful? When you are experiencing some thanksgiving blues? Maybe you recently got laid off, ended a relationship, or loss a love one and it's weighing you down mentally and emotionally. This blog post is focused on how to tackle feelings of ungratefulness during this Thanksgiving season.

1. Start At The Root

People go through things in life and they try to mask what they are going through. They put on a fake smile and pretend that everything is okay, but in reality they are in pain. In order for real healing to begin, we must begin at the root of the problem. Dig deep and ask yourself when did I start feeling this way? What happen? How did it happen? For example there was a season in my life when I was feeling down. For me, when I am down most people can not tell. I still put on smile, continue to work out, keep my face beat (actually if i'm wearing excessive makeup and keeping my face continually beat, you might know something is up). I'm not a big makeup person haha. Nonetheless, I was down for a while and had to get to the root of the problem. A couple months earlier I had experienced a breakup and I suppressed the pain from it. I didn't allow myself to heal properly from the breakup. My first step to healing was identifying the root of the pain. 

Now, if you are feeling down and may not know the root of the problem, that's okay. Some people experience seasonal depression. For you the root of the problem is there is no identifiable cause. That's okay, it's still a good place to start.

2. Allow Yourself to Go Through the Emotions

 Feeling down or blue is nothing to be ashamed of. Actually, it's a sign that you are human and you are living in an imperfect world. We ALL go through hard times in life. Allow yourself to feel down and mourn for a temporal season. Where I went wrong in the breakup is that I didn't allow myself to feel the pain. I suppressed it, so it showed up later on when I should have been over it. Once I realized the root of why I felt down I allowed myself to mourn. I ate the ice cream that I needed to eat, I cried on my sister shoulder and I allowed myself to feel the pain. I allowed myself to be down for a period of time. The time period will differ for each person, but the most important thing is not to get stuck in this emotion.

3. Put Your Energy In Things that bring Joy

After I allowed myself to go through the feelings, I put my energy in things that made me happy. I worked out, played the piano, did some writing and spent quality time with family. I encourage you to find a healthy outlet for your pain/sorrow. Whether if it's music, writing, working out, cooking or poetry, find a healthy way to release your pain. A lot of my creative writings and poetry stem from some of the most painful seasons in my life. I also made a list of things I was grateful for. Every morning I'd wake up and write down at least 3 things I was thankful for. This helped me start to change my perspective and focus on the good things in my life.

4. Help Someone Else/Do Something Nice for Others

When I was healing from the breakup I volunteered at food shelves. I realized when I would do something nice for others, it'd help me get out of my pity party and made me feel happy. The less I focused on my problems and tried to help others get out of their problems, it enabled me to realize how blessed I actually was. If you are still feeling down, I encourage you to volunteer somewhere. Give back to the community with your time and service. This will hopefully help to change your perspective and initiate gratefulness.

5. Seek Professional Help If Need Be

If you are struggling with any type of depression and you've tried healing on your own and it's just not working, I encourage you to seek professional help. It's NOTHING to be ashamed off. Healing can come from many different forms. Make an appointment to speak to a professional counselor if need be.


Thanksgiving is the holiday centered around being grateful, but it's not the only day out of the 365 days of the year that we should be grateful. Gratefulness should carry out year round. In any season of the year, if you are struggling with mental health, please get the help you may need. If you have any questions feel free to email me at Ngongang94@gmail.com. If you have any other tips on how to combat Thanksgiving blues, please leave a comment down in the comment section.

As always thanks for reading!

Till Next Time,
Titiana Ngongang