"She's Not The Problem, It's Him"

   

         If you haven't watched the video inserted above yet, I encourage you to watch it now. The video sets the tone for this blog post. Everyone is familiar with the popular movie titled "Mean Girls." Actress Lindsey Lohan plays the character Cady Heron, a 16 year old girl new to the public school district. Cady moved from Africa to America with her parents and attended public school for the first time. She quickly learns the cliques in public schools and similar to the video above, Cady finds herself in a girl fight over a young man. We can smile and giggle over children fighting over a boy or teenage girls fighting over a boy, but sadly as adults/young adults we still see females fighting each other over a man and males fighting eachother over women. I have one statement to this type of fighting, "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay, remember that."

                   

                    Love is a matter of the heart, it can not be forced nor should it be manipulated. As a woman, I know women want to be loved, cared for, and appreciated. Little girls grow up watching Disney movies such as Cinderella, Beauty and The Beast, and The Little Mermaid etc., From adolescents, little girls paint an image in their heads of the perfect man and the perfect wedding. Some women proceed through life just waiting for their Prince Charming. One day Prince Charming arrives and this prince belongs to you and only you. Anyone that tries to get in between you and your prince must be punished. This type of mentality worries me for all women. I ask myself this one question, why do some women fight each other over a man? 

                  

                Before a man pursues a woman he initially knows his purpose behind his pursuit. He either wants to marry, date forever, be friends or simply sleep with the woman. Men usually know their intentions before they approach. The way a woman carries herself influences the way and motives behind the pursuit. As women, we should carry ourselves in a manner that expels traits such as confidence, intellect, beauty, maturity, dignity and adventurous. Many of us want to be classified as wifey material, but aren't carrying ourselves as wifey material. I had told myself that before I started dating I was going to work on myself first. I can't have this long list of expectations in a man if I had nothing to bring to the table. The most important goal I set to accomplish before I started dating was to love myself so much that I would have zero tolerance for men that abuse (mentally, emotionally, or physically), disrespect, use, and make women feel like an option. I would never tolerate to simply be just another option in a man's life. 

               Now I'm not writing this blog to bash men. There are amazing, hard working, loyal, intelligent, loving and caring men out there. Good men still exist! Unfortunately, every tree has a few bad apples and women must be careful not to bite into rotten fruit. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are fighting(physically or verbally) another woman for your man, it means he has made you an OPTION. You are now either plan a, plan b or possibly plan c. If a man truly loves you, he is going to fight for you, love you and stay faithful and committed to you and only you. Other women should not be coming into the equation. You are a beautiful gem and your worth exceeds a man using you as a backup plan. If you are currently in a relationship and another woman keeps coming into the equation, I advise you to focus your attention on the man. Do NOT go fighting the other woman. If he truly loves you like he says he does another woman should not be in the equation in the first place. LET IT GO. 

                Ladies, I write this blog to remind you that you are worth more than gold. I advise you to love yourself to the point that you have zero tolerance for men that make you feel like an option. Don't go fighting the other woman, focus on the man. 

CELEBRITY FOCUS: 

The Boy is Mine: Brandy Norwood and Monica Brown

                                      

                        This blog post celebrity focus is on Brandy Norwood and Monica Brown. These two musicians collaborated on this 1998 hit, titled, "The Boy is Mine."  Monica was born and raised in College Park, Georgia. She began singing in a gospel choir and later on pursued her singing career in the secular industry. Monica debuted in 1995 with the platinum Top Ten single "Don't Take it Personal" and "Before You Walk Out of My Life." Monica Brown later collaborated with Brandy Norwood in 1998 with the hit single "The Boy Is Mine." Monica later released top-selling albums including: "After the Storm", "Makings of Me", "Still Standing", "New Life" and "Code Red". Brandy Norwood was born in McComb, Missippi. She actively became involved in the church choir. Her parents noticed her talent and later on moved to Los Angeles, California to help their daughter be successful. In ninth grade, Brandy got signed to Atlantic Records and was starred on the short-lived ABC sitcom called Thea.  Brandy continued in her music and acting career. Producing top hit songs such as "I Want to Be Down" and later starred in the hit tv Moesha. Brandy has been very successful in her music and acting career. Today, Brandy is still well known and successful. 

                    "The Boy is Mine" is a great song. I suggest you watch the video. While the two women are arguing, the man seems pleasantly entertained and having a good time. Ladies love yourselves to the point that you have zero tolerance for men that make you feel like an option. 

Much Love,

Titiana Ngongang 

Life, Faith &Love™

References: 

Biography.comEditors. "Brandy Biography." Bio.com. A&E Networks Television, n.d. Web. 08 July 2016.

"Brandy & Monica - The Boy Is Mine [HQ]." YouTube. N.p., n.d. Web. 08 July 2016. <https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jBmkCoiHC2c>.

Bush, John. "Monica." AllMusic. AllMusic, 2016. Web. 8 July 2016. 

Image: NigerianWedding Instagram
"Mean Girls (Two Little Girls Fight for Boy)." YouTube. N.p., n.d. Web. 08 July 2016